In Which I Explore What Will I Do Next

I just found out that the people who expressed interest in our video store last week would like to proceed with the purchase of the store.  Apparently they have sent us a letter of intent to purchase through the mail.  Why they didn't fax it, I don't know.  They did not mention in their email their offer price so I have no idea if it's good or bad.  Still, I'm excited.

I talked to my SIL tonight though and she sounds not very thrilled.  I think perhaps part of her had hoped that it would take a lot longer to sell.  I, on the other hand, am excited.  But then I am the one who most sees the need to get out of the business.  When we are looking at not being able to pay our bills or ourselves, I think it's time to quit.  We just don't have the time or the energy to put into this business.

That being said.  What will I do if the store sells?  K probably will use me as a cover person on a couple of night shifts at his store.  Other than that I just don't know.  It would be nice to be able to be a somewhat contributer to the family finances but I am not interested in going back to work full time and putting the kids in daycare.  I will have to wait another two years before O is in school fulltime.  And working 10 + years in an office with the procrastinating lawyer from hell does not exactly inspire me to go back to work in the legal field.  The only good news is that living in a new community most of the lawyers here probably barely heard of K.J. and if they did aren't aware of just how bad of a procrastinator the man was. There is only just so much a legal assistant can do to actually "assist" her boss.

So that leaves me with what?  I don't know.  I know I'd like to do some sort of home business but I'm not sure what, what would be feasible and what would sell.  I don't have a lot of money and so don't want to waste a lot going after ideas that will bomb.  I have, so far, two mom inventions in mind but haven't had the time to really pursue it other than basic design.  What I would like I think is create a variety of things so I don't get bored doing just one thing.

In the meantime, I just have to keep shrugging off the guilt I sometimes feel with the whole selling the business thing.  It is basically because of me that we have come to this point.  I just wish we could have come to this point two years ago before the recession hit.  My SIL is not an ambitious woman and would be content to sit here forever I think.  If it wasn't for the fact that neither of us is getting paid much she would probably be really digging in her heels right now.  Still, I know it must be hard for her because this is sort of a dream job for her.  So I feel bad but I can't take that on.  This business is not thriving and we need to be done and I need to do what's best for my family and I know she realizes that too.

I thought of maybe going back to school to become a notary but in reality I know it would be a hard thing to do with three kids.  I know a lot of people juggle school and family life but I also know I don't handle stress all that well these days.  Especially kid stress.  Poor things that they are, need me to be a happy mommy not a completely grumpy, yelling mommy.  I work hard at being the first kind of mom but still have a high fail rate.

The sad thing is that most of the money from the sale of the business will probably get sucked up in debt.  First the business debt then our debt.  Even though it's money from my business, I will still feel obligated to put it towards our debt.  When we bought the house, K and I had messed up the calculations and we ended up being like $4,000.00 short so we had to borrow it from the line of credit.  So that has to be paid back.  Plus we thought we would have enough money to pay K's parents back for the money they lent us to pay K's taxes.  We are disputing the taxes but the bank made us pay it up even though the government says we don't have to pay until the dispute is resolved.  So that's like 75% of what I think I might get out of the sale of the store.  I know it's all family debt and it all goes to benefit our family but it's hard to separate it out from being "my money". When you aren't bringing in a lot of money you tend to hold on to what you have.  Makes you feel a little independent you know.  Like how I held onto my RRSP's for the longest time because it was my funds but finally decided to cash them in to help K out with the debt load.  He didn't push me to do it but still he was relieved that I did.

Still there's all that not counting your chicken's before they've hatched.