; window.dataLayer = window.dataLayer || []; function gtag(){dataLayer.push(arguments);} gtag('js', new Date()); gtag('config', 'UA-6252405-9'); In the Mommy Trenches: January 2012

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Can you catch a cold over the internet?

Serves me right. I'd been just a tad smug lately.  You know, because my family managed to make it through the holidays etc without succumbing to the flu. It seemed like everyone around me in person or on blogs was coughing or sneezing or throwing up but my family's been just fine thank you very much.

Until Saturday.  What do you do with a 4 year old little boy who won't nap and feels fairly fine all day long as long as we have plenty of tissues and Advil but wakes up repeatedly throughout the night asking for medicine? A little boy who should be kept quiet because his racking chest cough gets pretty scary if he doesn't.

Add to that I'm supposed to be working at our store, I had an entire month of bookkeeping to do on a sleep deprived brain and a multitude of laundry because of puke boy and a pee girl. Sigh.

Now I have to beg my MIL to babysit a sick kid because we have no one to work the store tomorrow and as i sit here feeling tired and nauseous... I wonder if it's because of puke boy or possibly because a diabetic woman without a gall bladder has no business eating fish and chips for dinner.

I need some tea.


Wednesday, January 25, 2012

If…. You are a Better Mom Than Me

motherof theyearIf you proudly wear your child’s painted macaroni necklace for longer than five minutes… you’re a better mom than me.

If you happily wipe your four year old’s bum when he poos to make sure he doesn’t leave any “track”s… you’re a better mom than me.

If you cherish and store each and every art work created by your little darlings, never tossing even the barest and strangest of scribbles… you’re a better mom than me.

If your child has a bath/shower more frequently than once a week every other day… you’re a better mom than me.

If you enjoy chauffeuring kids to after school activities… you’re a better mom than me.

If one of your children wants to add in another after school activity and you say no problem… you’re a better mom than me.

If you remember a head of time to pack the appropriate snacks for those after school drives… you’re definitely a better mom than me.

If your child has their own small pet like a hamster or a mouse, snack or lizard or anything in the reptile family…. you are a better mom than me.

If your house is tidy, homework’s done and dinner is on the table by the time your husband walks through the door… you are a better mom than me.

If you laugh at all 100 and 99 of your child’s original knock knock jokes.. “Knock, knock, who’s there?  Banana, Banana Who?  Cause it’s an orange.”.. you’re a better mom than me.

Want to play along?  Just leave your “you’re a better mom than me” quote in the comments.


Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I feel Angry

This is a hard post to write and yet I need to get it out because I know there are many of you out there who have been in the same place as me and can perhaps emphasize with our situation.

You see, my beautiful daughter, of whom I had just been boasting about last week, may be brain damaged.  At least that's what the psychologist has told us.  In fact, there isn't really any "may" about it. She will be referring us to the Child Development Centre where we'll get a "team" to work with her.  In fact, she won't be surprised to find that E falls on the Autism spectrum.

Are you kidding me?  We go from a few learning difficulties to brain damage and possibly autism.  I am told to prepare myself for the fact that E might not leave the home until later in life and that she may never learn to do those things that she can't currently do now.  Again, are you freaking kidding me? At worst, I thought she had Central Auditory Processing Disorder.  I've always thought she didn't hear things quite right but right from the get go all initial assessments dismissed autism.  No, she's just quirky they said.  Now I'm told that as she's my first born I've just gotten used to her and consider this to be normal.  Now I'm told to watch Temple Grandin because thanks to her we know so much more about animal behaviour.  That's supposed to make me feel better?  How about a little time to adjust first before you start throwing out successful autistic people at me to make me feel better.

Right now I'm either racking my brain trying to figure out if I had done something to cause this to happen or grieving because I know how hard it's going to be for my child to walk this path.  Add to the fact that I know she is getting tired of all the extra tutoring and just know how hard it's going to be to have to take her to a whole bunch more appointments.

Her last tutoring lesson didn't go well.  Apparently she told her teacher she wanted to die.  Now I am pretty certain she didn't mean it and was just trying to express her frustration at not being able to have play time. She doesn't see all the time she does get to play just when she doesn't get to play.  This was on the same day when we got the news from the psychologist so as you can imagine I was pretty much an emotional basket case.

The worst is that I continue to run over all the times I've been impatient or angry with E when it was most likely not that she won't do something but that she can't do it and here I've been berating her.  Can you imagine how bad we feel?

Sure it could be worse and there are dozen of situations or conditions that would be much more difficult to live with.  It doesn't take away from the fact that we need to have time to come to acceptance of the situation and when we do, we will be able to put off the tears and take up the cause that is our child.

When I read about how people say it was a relief to get a diagnosis, I can't relate to that.  I can honestly say I don't feel relieved.

I feel angry

*Please, if anything I've said in this post offends you do not flame me.  I'm being real here and am expressing my feelings.  Good or bad it's how I feel at the moment as I work through this new curve that life has thrown us. Through it all she's my child and I love her dearly no matter what.*

Monday, January 16, 2012

I’m Proud of My Girl

I’m really proud of my girl. 

She has had a tough go of it ever since we had her assessed last summer and learned just how far behind she was in school.  A fact which was only made more glaringly aware once she started at her new school.  To say that our girl had thrown her teachers for a complete loop is a mild understatement.  From venting her extreme frustrating with change by getting in their face and yelling to downright tears and shut downs. 

Once we had a firm diagnosis of ADD and began a low dose of medication we saw big changes in her.  While she still gets frustrated and teary when she’s tired, she has become much more easier to manage.  Even the school has noticed a big improvement.  Finally Emma can focus on learning.  While I don’t necessarily agree that Emma completely falls into the ADD category, I do think she may be on the low end of the scale. 

Still, life hasn’t been easy.  What with starting at a new school, taking extra classes 3 times a week after school, attending learning support in school she’s been made to realize rather forcibly just how far she is behind her peers.  Add to that the fact everyone is throwing around the term “learning disability” and she pretty much feels like a freak no matter how much we tell her it’s normal and everyone learns different.

While I hurt for my baby and ache for the tough time she is going through, I can appreciate that she is learning some really good life lessons here.  After all, I don’t ever remember being in a situation where my mom has had to say to me “sweetie, this is just the way it’s going to be and there is no point in whining about it”.  Thank goodness she got it because really the last four months would have been hell if I had to have listened to her whine about going to tutoring after school 3 days a week.

With a lot of effort and hard work my girl has managed to go from reading at practically a kindergarden level to almost reading at her grade three level.  In fact, I think she’s reading even better than her own teachers realize.  By the time Christmas break had arrived my poor girl had had about enough schooling.  Give her two weeks Christmas break though and she’s back to her normal cheerful self and reading up a storm.

I’m so proud of her.  She has accomplished so much this year.  She still has a tough road because let’s face it, learning disabilities don’t disappear overnight and while the reading is coming along beautifully the writing isn’t. 

She will get it though because even though there are days that she feels like giving up, that it’s all just too much and that she can’t do it… underneath it all she is determined that she will get it, that she will do it. 

Enough to make a mama’s heart swell with pride. 
That’s my girl!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Is it Really My Job?

So you know you are tired when you're ready to lose it over a couple of missing school library books.  I end up lecturing and nagging and going on and on to the point that I frustrate myself even more because they don't care.

So I question, is it really my job to keep track of their stuff?  I wouldn't have thought so after all I'm supposed to be teaching them how to become self-reliant and independent little beings.  Teach them?  HAH that's a laugh.  I can organize, show them and "take time for training" till I'm blue in the face and they'll smile at me and the next thing I know they've left the washroom without flushing or washing their hands, they promptly drop their clothes beside their laundry baskets, ignore the napkins I've placed in front of them and wipe their faces across the back of their school uniform sleeves.  Ohhhhhh the list goes on.

So no wonder I begin to feel just a bit like a failure of a mother.  Especially when well meaning people (scream in-laws) make me feel like it's me cause I don't clean or organize.  Because, of course, they don't see it when it's all neat and tidy (after I've had to stand over them and finally pitch in myself) oh no, they just see it after the bomb has gone off and let's face it with three rambunctious kids the bomb goes off often at my house.

It's no great wonder that I'm ready to lose it today since I've been only asking J to find her library books since the last school library day last week.  But you know she's too busy to do anything like that and unless I stand over her and push her into looking, it doesn't get done.  So who ends up looking, I do. Then I go to the next child, where are your library books... "I don't know" to well the "computer says I have books out but I know I returned it".  Sure you did, the books you took out over Christmas vacation magically got returned to the school when?

The problem is we can designate a library book spot but no one seems to follow it, not even their dad.  Books get dropped wherever  they happened to be read and rarely even make it back to the bookshelf until we do a big clean up or I get tired of the sloppy mess of a bookshelf and clean it up myself.  The kids like to play with the books and drag them all over no matter how many times I ask them not to because you know nothing holds a fort together so well as a couple of good heavy books and playing library or bookstore without books is just plain old silly and why would we use a bookshelf to store the books when they look so much nicer on the floor.

Of course, I'm just griping about their library books.  I haven't even mentioned their homework, backpacks, lunch kits, school supplies, mittens, coats, hats, gloves, scarves, shoes, boots, hair do dads, water bottles, crafts, etc. Never mind the drama that occurs if I don't know where something is.  I will literally be greeted with tears and frustration if I can't tell them where they happened to sit their toy down on coming into the house.   WTH!  I know that I'm supposed to have eyes in the back of my head but really I draw the line at psychic abilities.

So what say you?  Do you feel like you have to be their personal assistant or are you trying to train your little beings to be self-reliant?  Are you making any headway or like me are you just one step away from banging your head on the wall?


Monday, January 9, 2012

Things That Make Me Angry

1. People that have no clue how a four way stop works. Yes mam, you were first so you shouldn't be waving for me to go then looking at me like I'm the retarded one.

2. Go to load the breakfast dishes only to find hubby did a 3/4 load the night before. Damn it, I could have squeezed in the breakfast dishes. Now I have to empty the dishwasher before I can clean up from breakfast and get on to the rest of my day.

3. When I find out two out of my three kids have peed the bed on the same morning. Add to that the fact that one kid peed the day before but didn't tell us so we didn't find out until bedtime so i have three sets of bedding to wash on the day that we're volunteering at a bottle drive.

4. People who make snarky side comments about how "expensive" video stores are but not actually to you but to their friend so you can't respond. Um hello prices haven't gone up in over 10 years in the industry. We're still making the same 5.00 bucks a vid as we were doing in the 90s and yet, inflation has gone up, minimum wage keeps going up along with our lease, hydro etc and these people bitch about $5.00 and walk out if we don't give them the same special deal we offered two years ago.

5. Rude people. There's no need to be rude, especially to people in the service industry. The job is tough enough serving the public and they are human too, cut them some slack. A smile goes a long way.

6. On the other hand, I hate it when I'm being served by two teens or young adults who think it's appropriate to carry on conversations about how much they had to drink or how drunk they were at the party last night while they scan my groceries and bag them. My kid doesn't need to hear what your boyfriend thinks about your new tattoo. Seriously.

7. Finding dirty socks everywhere but the laundry basket. Better yet with toys in the toes.

8. Asking your child to put socks on only to have them come back to you saying they don’t have any socks in their drawer because you didn’t do the laundry.

Those are a few things that make me angry.  What makes you angry?


Tuesday, January 3, 2012

A New Year

crackedWell we have officially reached that point where I am more than ready for my Christmas decorations to go away.  While I love my decorations and am absolutely delighted to see it come out of their boxes and be distributed throughout my house, I find that four weeks of delight is enough.  Put the crap er heirlooms away until next year when I’ll be happy to see them again.
Things have been just a little too hectic around here for me to actually stop and contemplate the transition from 2011 to 2012.  Frankly, it was a quick toast at midnight, hugs all around, a kiss for hubs and then I couldn’t wait for the family to get out.  Seriously.  I had the kitchen lights off and was literally clicking off the Christmas Tree lights while shooing family out the door.  I did for decency sake wait until they started their car before I flicked off the outside lights but barely.
A Year in Review
When I look back at 2011, it’s hard not to focus on the negative so I am going to sit here and try to come up with positives.
  • We are all healthy. 
  • E got to learn a dance routine and perform on a real stage in a real theatre.. finally.
  • While we didn’t get to Disneyland or Alberta, we did manage to get in two camping trips which were a lot of fun.
  • All three of my children learned to ride their bikes without training wheels. 
  • I got a great new haircut.
  • We had a great summer playing in the pool
  • We won two gift certificate to really nice restaurants in our area
  • We joined a new Church, which we are really enjoying;
  • I learned how to throw my first pot and discovered a new passion
  • The girls started a new school in September which has been amazingly supportive.
  • I started selling on Amazon which gives me some spending money.
  • I lost 20 pounds (So I gained a few back, I still lost 20)
As for what we’d like to to in 2012 well the list is rather long
  • Go to Disneyland
  • Go up the mountain and take the kids tobaggoning
  • Paint our house
  • Do some necessary renovations on our house
  • Possibly sell and buy a new home
  • Get our business in a better financial position
  • Improve our own finances
  • Love our kids more
  • Play more with our kids
  • Yell less
  • Lose weight
  • Improve our physical fitness, I d’ like to get on my treadmill on a regular basis and do some yoga and pilates to help our backs.
  • Get our kids to either eat more iron rich foods or take a multivitamin consistently.
  • I’d like to finish one of my stories and submit it for publishing.
  • Write more., Blog More, read more blogs
  • Knit more, crochet more, craft more
  • Find more time for myself
  • Watch less t.v. doing nothing.
What are your New Years Resolutions?