; window.dataLayer = window.dataLayer || []; function gtag(){dataLayer.push(arguments);} gtag('js', new Date()); gtag('config', 'UA-6252405-9'); In the Mommy Trenches: July 2016

Saturday, July 9, 2016

It's Been Three Years and It Still Hurts

It's been 3 years today since I lost my mother and yet I still have the tendency to refer to her in the present tense.  While my grief may not be as fresh or present every day, it certainly seems like it is never really that far away.  So many things that I have come from her.  Like clothes or teddy bears she sewed for the children, the little knick knacks and china cups and plates in my china cabinet, decorations she made for my wedding.

I was re-watching the 1995 version of Sense and Sensibility yesterday evening and you may recall the scene where Marianne is lying at death's door and the doctor tells Elinor "prepare yourself".  As in prepare yourself for the worst.  This scene hit me especially hard as that was exactly what the doctor said to our family.  We fought those words and the thoughts of what that meant and hoped against hope for her recovery.  It was not to be.