; window.dataLayer = window.dataLayer || []; function gtag(){dataLayer.push(arguments);} gtag('js', new Date()); gtag('config', 'UA-6252405-9'); In the Mommy Trenches: In Retrospection

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

In Retrospection


girlAs you know from my last post, I’ve been somewhat concerned about my daughter’s social life. What mom doesn’t want her child to have friends? 

I’m not talking about miss popularity here. 

After all, most of the popular kids I knew in school turned out to be not so successful/happy later in life.  Not to mention, they were the first ones in our age group to experiment with drugs and engage in sex.  So no, I don’t want that for my child.

Still concerned, I attended the beach day for E’s school.  When I got there, sure enough there is E playing by herself.  She was attempting to build a driftwood fort.  “Where are your friends?” I asked.  They were around somewhere but she wanted to build her fort.  I suggested that since it was the last day she might want to play with her friends since she won’t see them the rest of the summer. She sighed but made the attempt.  Only she didn’t get very far because she got sidetracked by the tidal pools and next thing you know she was on her own again.

I realized though that she was perfectly happy and content.  She is full well able to entertain herself and was doing what she wanted.  It didn’t matter to her that the others were off doing something else. 

In talking with another mom, she advised me not to worry.  E was happy.  So I sat back and tried not to dwell on it and just let her be.  Isn’t that the hardest thing for moms to do?  We want to jump in and help, to fix things but sometimes we just have to sit back and do nothing, let them be. 

I received the same advice from my mom and she added that in a few years, I will be glad she’s able to entertain herself and doesn’t just conform to the crowd when they start to face tougher choices.

I’ve been able to let go of some of my anxiety for her and I’m happy about that. 


  1. As long as she isn't acting afraid to be around others or isn't being bullied by someone, I wouldn't worry. Everyone is different. A lot of us are "loners" and prefer playing/working by ourselves rather than in groups.


  2. True enough. I myself can be a bit of a loner. I like my girlfriends but often am just as happy doing my own thing. I should have realized it sooner... she's a lot more like me than I realized!

  3. I have to agree with your friend and your mom. If E is happy and healthy, then it's time to leave it well alone. But it's so Hard. So very, very hard. Because we want to do the best by our kids. Good luck. You're rising a fine girl, right there.


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