Moving Angst

Yesterday K picked up the girls from school.  I could tell as soon as I soon my eldest's face through the door that something was wrong.  Let me preface this by telling you that my house is in complete chaos and I was desperately trying to get my half frozen chicken seasoned and prepped and in the oven.  I was feeling a little overwhelmed as I generally do at this time of day. 

So it hit me like a ton of bricks when I asked her what's wrong and she told me she had the

"worstest day ever, that everything is going wrong, can't do the shawl dance no more cause I'm moving, no one would play with me, and all anybody would say to me all day is you're moving, you're moving.. moving, moving, moving, it is horrible and I got an x cause you forgot to put my planner in my book" then promptly burst into tears all the while taking off her coat, pulling out her backpack and shoving papers and lunch bag at me. 

I just about cried myself.  I felt so bad for her.  I know what a big adjustment this move is going to be for her.  I can't help but feel a little mom guilt about that.  If we had of been able to sell our house before she started school, these issues would have been avoided.  The shawl dance is part of a First Nations cultural offering at her school where all children are welcome to attend and learn to make traditional Native costumes and learn dancing.  This is the only extra curricular thing E has been able to do and I feel bad it's being taken away from her. Although after the whole Christmas Celebration dinner fiasco with them, I'm surprised that she still wants to do it.  I can't remember if I blogged about it.  Still, I can't believe they won't let her continue for the rest of the month. Isn't cultural understanding and awareness what the whole program is about? Aren't we supposed to be reaching our children at a young age so they grow up accepting each other's cultural differences?  Why would they turn away a child who is so obviously enthusiastic about it?

In the end all I could do was listen.  I got down on my knees so I was at her eye level while she vented and tried to pull out something, anything positive from what she was saying.  And you know what?  It worked.  She perked up fairly quick and seemed better after a reassuring hug.  She even came back to talk with me while I finished getting dinner into the oven.   It's nice when you know you did exactly what they needed at the right time.

I still feel bad for her though and I know that this month is going to be really tough.  Her teacher encouraged me though saying it's always great to be the new kid at school because everyone wants to take care of you. I think that much may be true for her age group.  I hope it is.  I know it gets tougher when they are older. 

I hope it's not too late to get her into some extra curricular programs when we move.  I think that will help her. Poor mite asks for so little.  okay I'm digging that guilt in just a little deeper aren't I? 

We still haven't resolved my store though.  We have it up for sale.  Had one inquiry before Christmas which went no where and then this week we had a gentleman stop by and was interested but nothing more from him to date.  The store selling would be the final sign that everything is going to be alright.  I so don't know how we are going to manage two stores and working in one of them long distance until it sells.  I don't want to just close it down though. I'd like to come away with a little extra.  I just know that after one week of communiting, even if it's only for two days a week, I'm gonna hate it.

So tell me that I'm not scaring my child for life, that she will be okay and that you're praying my store sells so we can be one big happy family in the new City.  Okay?  Thanks.

Zeemaid