A Weekend Away–Sort of

I am going to a women’s conference out our new church this weekend.  I have mixed feelings about it.

I didn’t actually think I was going to get to go.  I was all excited when I first heard about and then I found out it costs $75.00 to attend.  I get it.  They are hosting a ton of amazing workshops plus they have this amazing speaker coming for the weekend and they are throwing in our meals. 

I just don’t have $75.00.  We are at an all time financial low, so low in fact I didn’t think we were going to be able to cover our business’s rent this month. 

So although I had expressed a passing interest to my husband which generally goes in one ear and out the other, I pretty much told myself maybe next year.  This last Sunday though, while I listened to our pastor’s wife talk about all the fun they were going to have this upcoming weekend, I couldn’t help but cast up a little prayer.

Then mid week I found out from my husband that he had signed me up for this weekend.  I was astonished to say the least and a little upset.  We can’t afford this.  He said that I needed it and just imagine a weekend without having to worry about the kids etc.  Well, of course, that appeals to me. 

I considered phoning and cancelling but then I was afraid that my husband would be disappointed in me because I was chickening out.  Which in a sense is what I’d be doing.  I hardly know anyone at this Church and am not good going into these types of situations on my own.

Besides it saddens me when I see the sense of community all these women have with each other because they’ve known each other for so long.  It seems like I’m always trying to fit in somewhere, trying to make new friends but can’t because there’s no room really for someone new. Let’s face it, it’s hard to make friends when you’re older.  Or is it just me?  It’s pretty much shaken my confidence in myself.

Besides it was nice that my husband actually put some thought into something like this for me and acted on it. Usually it’s the well I was thinking about this or that or I haven’t had time to plan or what do you want to do and it gets left up to me to decide. Like my 40th, I ended up planning my own dinner party just so something would be planned.

I told my husband that yes I wanted to go but that if I was to go then God would lay me on someone’s heart.. he said AHA, see, God answered your prayer.  He layed you on my heart.

Well, I can’t argue with that even if it isn’t exactly how I had hoped He would answer my prayer. 

Answered prayer is answered prayer.

So I’m going to have a weekend away.  Sort of.  I will still be sleeping at home but I won’t have to worry about kids or meals or husbands.  I’m really hoping that I will be able to relax and enjoy myself, not say anything stupid or embarrassing or too much and that I will make a friend. 

What are you planning for the weekend?