; window.dataLayer = window.dataLayer || []; function gtag(){dataLayer.push(arguments);} gtag('js', new Date()); gtag('config', 'UA-6252405-9'); In the Mommy Trenches: Facebook and Reunions

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Facebook and Reunions

FACEBOOK. I have always considered myself to be a fairly technological gal. When the internet first made a big splash in the 90's, I bought myself a computer and promptly learned all the ins and outs of chatting online. It was great. Suddenly I was a confident and witty conversationalist. What a perfect setting for those of us that sometimes put out foot in our mouths. Until online chatting went RT, we actually got a chance to think about what we were going to say before hitting that send button.

Having said that, I got married and in my view marriage and chatting online DO NOT go hand in hand. Why else do men and women chat online in chatrooms? To meet members of the opposite sex! Or not opposite as the case may be. There is always the exception of gamers etc... who are online gaming. I went online to chat with guys. Yeah, I made some great girl friends online but primary interest was hey.. the guys. I got married, there was no reason for me to chat online.

Then came children. That lengthy online pregnancy journal that was updated almost daily soon was only updated once a week, then once a month... you get the picture. Life is just too busy to keep up online.

So when I finally can lift my head up from all the chaos, I am dazed by all the new rages. Facebook, Twitter, Flickr, RSS feeds... say what? That facebook stuff is not for me, I say. I'm content to just be blissfully unaware of it and continue my shallow little internet life. Not too deep, just on the surface of technology. Who would I facebook anyways? My friends and family are all around me.

Then the rumours of the next high school reunion start and my sis tells me that her husband's entire reunion was planned online through Facebook. I'll admit I'm curious. I don't even really want to go to the next reunion but I sign up anyways just to see who's on there. So I set my profile, carefully joining the appropriate groups just so I'm sure to be seen. I see a few people from school but, (and here's the kicker) I don't even request any friends. I sit back and wait to see if anybody notices me and if any of them requests me as a friend. There is very little action at first and then one by one I start to get more and more friend requests. Unfortunately, the first was from a brother of a friend and I did NOT want him on my list but what can I do, I don't want to offend the guy.

The funny thing is.. that out of 14 friend requests only ONE sent me a personal message. I started get these friend requests and I thought hey cool but then there was no conversation, no how's it going, haven't seen you in years type thing. Nothing. Not only that, I had one who I know did not like me in school (I dated his friend) and he sent me a friend request. What's up with that? My husband says, "honey, it's been almost 20 years." Yeah, I know but if you didn't like me then would you suddenly develop fond memories of me now? I don't think so. I said yes.

I think it's the most bizarrest thing that people would WANT to add me to their friend list but not actually connect with me. Does that make sense to you? It doesn't to me. You could say, why don't I send messages myself and you'd be right. I could do that but this started out as a little experiment. You see it's been 19 years since high school. I went to the 10th and had an okay time but I just couldn't seem to connect with anyone.

Part of the reason for this was that I had spent my grade 11 year in Europe and when I came back I had changed a lot and found it difficult to relate to my old friends. Add to this that my husband worked for one of my old friend's husband and had taken them to labour relations over a dispute. By the time the reunion happened, I had just gotten married and she apparently had not gotten over it. So the whole click of friends I used to hang out with, gave me a somewhat cold shoulder.

There is like maybe one person I actually see on a somewhat regular basis (if you can call every couple of months so, regular) and for the rest I could really care less. I felt saddened by this thought because I know so many other people that look forward to seeing their old friends. If someone from school actually tried to connect with me, then it might actually refresh my memory a little and make me want to go.

At the moment, I am leaning towards going but I'm still not ready to commit. Should I go?

In the Mommy Trenches

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