I Think I've Found My Passion

Pottery.

So simple and yet so beautiful. 

A good friend of mine took me to meet a potter this past weekend.  It was supposed to be an open house type of deal but since there was only the two of us, the potter, this lovely lady named Darcy took me under her wing, sat me down at the potter's wheel and helped me throw my first bowl.  Then a plate.  Then another bowl.

Wow. 

The experience was amazing.  I was afraid of doing something wrong and yet I felt comfortable with the clay in my hands.  It was gorgeous to see the this bowl form under my hands even though I had a hard time grasping exactly what she meant by centering the clay.  I could feel when the clay became uneven even though I didn't have the knowledge yet on how to fix it.  I was unsure of everything and somewhat intimidated by the fact that so much of it is by feeling and just knowing how much to press, how much to flake away, how much water to add.  She can show me the techniques but I have to learn the feel. 

We were in that studio for over two hours.  Afterwards, we offered to pay her but she wouldn't let us saying it was complimentary.  Normally her lessons run to an hour but as she said .. "hey it was fun".  I have to say I was relieved.  I hadn't come expecting to be given a lesson and money is at an all time low.

Yet all I can think of is when can I go back?  My fingers are itching to get their hands on clay again, to be able to play with it, to mold it and to somehow make it my own.  Because while I may get to go back to trim my work and eventually see it fired and while I know that I may have helped make it, a part of her is in each piece too.  I want to create something that is just 100% me. 

Strange as it may sound coming from one pottery lesson but a part of me feels that something major has changed in my life.  That things will never quite be the same. 

So it is perhaps surprising that I came home somewhat subdued instead of all hepped out and over the moon about my lesson.  The reality is... we can't afford lessons no matter how cheap they are.  Now that this gracious lady has given me this lesson it's given me a thirst for more and I don't know how I am going to achieve that. 

Of course I shared with K all about it and how much I enjoyed it and while he seemed somewhat encouraging, I know the same thoughts run through his head.  His one question was "How did she think you did?".  I don't know really the answer to that question.  She certainly said I had done a good job centering the clay on my own and was talking to me about what to look for in a wheel if I decided to really pursue this so perhaps she thought I had some talent...?

So I've held back from telling him how my thoughts are continuing to run on clay and how very much I want to pusue this because well he has enough stress on him now.  As I type this I look down and see the overdue hydro bill and still I'm looking around my house trying to think of what I could sell to be able to pay for it.  Even thoughts of asking my mom to pay for my lessons. Good Lord!  I'm almost 40 and I'm thinking of asking my mother?  *L*  I won't, of course.  It's virtually impossible for me, thank goodness, due to my personality.

So the question remains:  How am I going to do it?