Freakin Jealous

There is just no other way to put it. I’ve been hit with the old green eyed bug.  Yup.  I’m freaking jealous.

The neighbours across the street pulled up this evening with the newest, baddest travel trailer you’ve ever seen.  We’re talking humongous, shiny and definitely squeaky clean new with all the extras.

I’m serious when I say I’m jealous.  I just about cried.  Because I want one too (have for the past five years) and there is no way on God’s green earth that I am going to get one.  Of course, I was planning on settling for a five to 10 year old tent trailer but even that is way out of our budget.  Heck camping in a tent is out of our budget.  We were planning on trekking with the kids to the badlands this summer but after the Play-offs wrecking our business for the month of June and a couple of forgotten bills suddenly appearing, we’re lucky if we get a day off together. 

I know I’m not supposed to be envious of others in their good fortune and generally, I can genuinely say they deserve it.  They work hard and if they’ve got the money they are entitled to spend it.  It’s just that they are a two income family while we are basically one income and even that’s sketchy most weeks.

I have to remind myself that we chose to have three kids, we chose for me to be the primary caregiver while he worked and that less money was just something we had to deal with.  But it gets tiring after 8 years.  Add in that no one counts on there being a down turn in the economy or accounting for bad financial decisions. 

I am happy out of the rat race and cringe at the idea of job interviews and going back to stressful work environments.  I guess I want it all without the work.

Still, I’m bummed.  I’ve sent the children outside and managed to busy myself in the kitchen and family room so I don’t have to look out my front window at their montrosity of a trailer and try to not peak out at them as they stand at the end of the driveway chatting happily with all their friends.  It’s exciting for them and I’ll be happy for them when I chat with them next but in the meantime… I’m closing my blinds.