They've offered to come down and watch the kids each day while I run E down the street to kindergarten. Lovely really. It's so helpful not to have to juggle the kids at the school not to mention I don't have to worry about getting them dressed. So I appreciate it, really I do.
But.... I hate coming home to find my mother-in-law going through my house. Last week it was the kids toys. She saw we had put some toy blocks in our storage room (again, how did she know they were there if she wasn't snooping?) so she decided to go through all the toys and find any more of the blocks because she decided she wanted them. Did she ask me? No. Yesterday, I come home after being gone for the afternoon to find that they spent time downstairs fiddling. Okay, so papa replaced the burnt out bulb in O's room but really, where's my sense of space and privacy? They didn't tell me that they were going to do that.
Today I come home to find her in our short pantry cupboard and noticed that the hinge was loose. Why didn't I tell them the screw had come out?!?!? No reason for her to be in that cupboard at all. ARGGGGGGGGG.
Small things I know and I really, really ought to be appreciative and I am to a certain extent. I just like my privacy. I feel like I never measure up. My house is always a mess etc..... It always seems that when I don't leave the house tidy that that's when they decide to suddenly come down and do a project.
Am I being completely unreasonable? Probably. After all they are doing it for me but some how it just ticks me off that these things get done by them. It really should be getting done by myself and my husband. O's lights were burnt out for 3 or 4 days. Hubby could easily have fixed it. I couldn't cause it was one of those weird unscrewable lights etc. Granted hubby has been working a lot, he hasn't had a day off in 10 days so I really don't fault him for not getting it done.
Then they feel they've got to organize us. K was warming up the van for me, scraping my windows etc. They pop their heads out the window and tell him not to bother, they will drive me. So I had to get driven to school with my daughter. I felt like I was 16... with a child. Then because they are paranoid about people dinging their car door, he takes up two stalls in an already very small parking lot. How embarassing. My hubby was floored when I told him about it. So when they offered to drive me today... at least they offered today it wasn't a direct order like yesterday, I was able to say no. I'd rather walk.
CHA
Zeemaid
Please take or leave my comments as you see fit - I'm just trying to offer encouragement, not be judgemental. I mean this in the nicest, most sympathetic way possible!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm one of those "benefit-of-the-doubt" kinds of people. My own mom drives me berzerk sometimes, as does my husband's father (who hates me and threatens to call child welfare because he doesn't like how I parent), but I always try to put myself in their place.
Maybe yours are pleased to have someone around to "do for" since their kids are all grown up now? It could be a genuine desire to be helpful or useful, and you are misconstruing it as a power struggle.
Maybe you are being hyper-sensitive?
With some people, you just have to love them where they're at, and take their character quirks along with their good qualities.
And take yourself back to the post about the macadamia nut cookies! Nobody's life is perfect! Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I go to It's Twinsanity, and then I feel a whole lot better about my life!
http://www.itstwinsanity.com/2009/01/hes-gone.html
Hope I helped even a tiny little bit!
Hugs, Michele
No you are not, you are so much nicer than me. My in laws suck ass they even had the nerve to tell me not to bring my veggie meat (and yet they dont cook enough non meat for us to eat) ack I have had such a rough time with it. One thing I keep remembering that my brother said is: with marriage there is love and sex, so you know, motivation to like the person but with their family it's like instant drama without the history to stabalize it or the love and sex to at least make it worth while. At least there better not be. Ew.
ReplyDeleteThanks. That twinsanity page really does help doesn't it. I know I'm a little sensitive and I know they don't do it to be annoying, it just sometimes comes across that way. All in all, I do appreciate the help and those macadamia nut cookie moments. :)
ReplyDelete